Remember that yuk-yuk movie called "Dumb and Dumber"? Well, Juab County prosecutor David Leavitt should have auditioned for both parts.

Leavitt is setting himself up to be a one-man comedy act with his determination to put polygamist Tom Green through some elaborate legal wringer. (There's probably going to be a huge bill for county taxpayers at the end of this farce, too, but that's another story.) Can't anybody -- like Leavitt's brother the governor, maybe -- make this overzealous prosecutor realize the silliness of putting himself and Green on the TV news every night? Not just Utah's media outlets, either.

If this mess drags along the way it almost certainly must, we're going to find reporters from national networks, CNN and an army of nut-hungry freak shows camped out in Nephi. And why not?

Here comes the kind of spectacle that makes the rest of the country think of Zion as some outdoor loony bin. Leavitt took a foolish step when he went off to collar Green-- who lives about a zillion miles from civilization in the first place -- and now appears certain to compound the nonsense by threatening to jail three or four of Green's "shadow wives" if they refuse to testify against him.

Oh, man. You think "Inside Edition" won't be all over this carnival? And for what? Anyone in this state with a lick of sense realizes that attempts to prosecute polygamy itself is just plain crazy. Even without another poll, we already know that a huge majority of Utahns want polygamy stuck in the musty attic of history and left there forever.

As for current practitioners of plural marriage, public sentiment is fairly plain: If there are kidnappings, beatings (like the Kingston situation) or some other flagrant violations of the law, fine. Book 'em and take 'em to trial. But Leavitt apparently has missed one of the key elements in fighting what most people perceive as the true dangers of polygamy.

In the Kingston case, the girl who was forced into a plural marriage with her uncle not only was underage and physically whipped by her father, she was willing and anxious to face the perpetrators and testify to the crimes.

This Juab County case is totally different.

Green's wives and children are standing by him. However you parse out their religious beliefs, however wrongheaded you think them to be -- they're not going to budge. Leavitt truly is stepping into a briar patch from which it's going to be difficult (and probably painful) to extricate himself.

What happens when the non-legal wives remain silent? If Leavitt follows through with contempt charges and actually locks them up, we're going to have chaos. And how does ol' Dave figure it will end? Green's family won't give him up.

The whole clan clings fiercely to its calling and shows no sign of repenting or altering a lifestyle each feels is sanctioned by God.

Even if Leavitt -- whom national commentators quickly will point out is descended from polygamists himself -- manages to get a conviction on some sort of charge, two things are certain.

First, he'll be faced with the thorny issue of what to do with  all those extra wives who might still be in jail. Second, Green certainly will appeal to high heaven (no pun  intended). The matter of religious freedom as it relates to  plural marriage might toddle all the way to the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, nobody in Utah or anywhere else plans to round up  all those other folks -- Muslims with multiple wives, members  of religious communes, thrill-seeking college kids -- who are  sleeping with more than one mate.

Wake up, Mr. Prosecutor. And give it up. For everyone's sake.

Phone Steve Cameron at 344-2553 or reach him via e-mail: SteveSyl@webtv.net.