Even in moments of tragedy and triumph, life does not often imitate art. The sunset was not inspired by Rothko’s dramatic oranges, the ignominy of war not imagined by Steven Spielberg. The notion is amusing, but fanciful – many would not be pleased with birds who sing Beethoven’s fifth.

Acknowledging this, there may be no reason to consider HBO’s recently debuted program, “Big Love.” Parents are not dreading their teenage daughters sitting down to tell them they’re marrying a man with another wife. There are other teenage relationship dramas parents might fear more, most not involving marriage. There is no great cultural movement towards polygamy on college campuses. The show’s depiction of a man juggling three families may be another farfetched premium channel diversion, some lifestyle just bizarre enough for us to be able to almost relate to. We could have been mafia members, or funeral home tenders, in another lifetime.

In this one, we might take two wives.

There may be reason for a national debate on polygamy to be reopened. Much of the recent debate over prevention or approval of gay marriage has touched on the idea of polygamy; that acceptance of one “great evil” would lead to the permission of another. This fissure in the country’s moral crust would then give way to the eruption of bestiality, incest, and all sorts of social disgraces, undoubtedly leading to the end of the world and morality as we know it.

The problem with this argument of decline is that polygamy does not victimize individuals the way bestiality, the marriage of juveniles to adults and incest do. The state has a compelling interest in protecting the helpless and innocent, but this interest is inapplicable to plural marriages. There is little that implies that consenting adults who choose multiple partners are somehow enfeebled by that choice and should be protected from it. It is prejudicial to assume that those who opt out of monogamy are as incapable of acts of self-preservation as animals or children would be.

Much of this “act of protection” is allegedly conferred upon women. Those who oppose polygamy insist that plural marriages encourage domestic abuse and the victimization of the female. It is unclear why this is so – the state-enforced marriage contract actually gives women more legal power in cases of abuse and neglect. Without marriage’s protections, women are merely helpless sexual partners, while men who are philandering as opposed to being married to women commit an actual crime.

The law is arcane, but the repercussions are relevant. Legal activists might also point to the unfair benefit members of plural marriages might reap from the income taxation system. These activists would be wise to note the unfair burden shouldered by those who choose not to be married, which seems a far more egregious injustice.

High marriage rates are a measure of a successful society. Intact families create healthy social support networks, children with fewer adjustment problems and a stronger economy due to the well-being of dual-earner families. Marriage advocates may find themselves confused when realizing that, by declaring polygamy dishonorable or wrong, they find themselves arguing against the social integrity they prize so much. The legitimacy of a society is measured by the well-being of its citizens and the realization of their rights within the state, and to devalue both of these things makes one an anti-marriage activist and a party interested in society’s demolition.

In spite of these contentions, most will not pattern their lives after “Big Love.” After all, most men do not wish to enter matrimony with the babysitter, or if they do, they are just bright enough to keep it secret. What this program provides is an alternate definition, a lifestyle that might not always be so infrequently traveled. And just as we have learned from other caricatures of alternate lifestyles, there is meaning in the off-kilter things others choose. Life may not always imitate art, but art’s dialogue can inspire a dialogue of our own.

 Kat Stromquist is a Newcomb College student who is never getting married. She can be reached for comment at kat.stromquist@gmail.com.

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